


We're Linked

by Star4545



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
Genre: Dreams, M/M, Post-Canon, Post-Watford (Simon Snow), Simon Snow's Wings and Tail
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-20 17:24:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17026941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Star4545/pseuds/Star4545
Summary: Simon isn't too happy after he loses all his magic and grows a wing and tail, but Baz is always there to try and help pick up the pieces.





	We're Linked

**Baz**

 

He used to be so warm… so hot. Our room, with just Snow's presence, would turn from the tundra to a fire pit. I was always used to the warmth, with the fire and everything, but it was nothing like the warmth of our room without a window opened, he always had that window open, even on the most frigid nights. I would jokingly complain, though Simon never knew I was joking around, never knew how much I didn't mind. By the end of my second year, I learned to bring extra pajama layers and an extra blanket.

I'd almost forgotten what it felt like to be warm. Being a vampire, everything is always cold. My hands are like ice, my feet too, and my body isn't necessarily cold, but isn't hot. It's just there. I'm just existing. I’m not dead, but I’m not alive either. The fire I would conjure in my hands wouldn't do anything to warm me up, it would just burn my flesh if I didn't know my thresholds.

But Snow, he was always burning. His magic always flooded off him. It was delightful to see someone so full of life, because at that time I felt deader than ever. He hated me with such a passionate fervor, I just wanted him to come up to me and burn me with all his magic.

I was there a few times when Simon would wake up, automatically going off. Our whole room smelt of Snow's smoky magic and it was so hot. I could feel some of it, some of the excess magic gather on my skin, making it tingle, before I was swept out of my room by a worried authority figure or Simon of all people, which always confused me because I thought he wanted me dead.

He pushed his magic onto me fighting that dragon. That was the first time since I was bitten that I felt encompassed by heat. I was so elated, and I felt so powerful, I could've kissed Snow right then and there… I don't know why I didn't. I never thought I would feel that warm again though kissing Snow was a whole other story.

It was around Christmas, right before we were going to fight the Humdrum. We spend a long time in each other's arms, kissing one another, making up for the seven past years when we could have been doing this… we should have been doing this. The fireplace in my room was roaring. I never really used it anymore, only for a source of light or because staring at the fire gave me something to do other than eat, read, sleep, or practice the same selections of classical songs on my violin. That was the first time I played for Snow, he didn't know any of the songs, even the most popular ones. He was kissing me with his soft lips, our bodies so close to one another. I wonder if he ever did this with Agatha. My hands were in his curly hair, I always wanted to run my fingers through it. It was exactly how I imagined it would be; soft and silky even in the curly parts. His hands were holding him up above me.

After kissing for who knows how long, he removes his soft lips from mine. I open my eyes, his flutter open. His skin was glittering with sweat. He moves next to me to sit. "Can we open a window?" He mummers, his voice raspy and lips a deep red. If I wasn't moving my fingers through his hair, those curls would probably be stuck to his forehead. Energy was running through my body, I felt warm for a second time since I was bitten.

"Yeah, sure." I get up, even though all I wanted to do is stay sitting. I push back the dark red curtains and open the window. He gets up and stands by it. I put my arms around his waist, putting my mouth on his neck, which makes him jump. "I'm not going to bite you, Miracle Boy. Relax." Snow doesn't, he just looks at me with those big blue eyes. Then he goes back to the window, leaning his torso on it, looking out to see the forest. He lets the cold air encapsulate his face. He looked so peaceful and restless all at the same. He always said he doesn't think, but I could feel his mind whirling. I allow myself to stare at him, the person I've seen grow up before my eyes, getting cuter and cuter every year he came back to Watford.

"I'm so hot."

"Yeah you are."

"Shut up. Not like that." Snow then takes off his shirt. We have seen each other naked, though we often avoided it. I never looked at his chest properly. He was really fit; however I knew that a long time ago. I whisper Make a Wish! which turns off the fireplace, it was dark in the room, but I didn't mind. "Why'd you turn it off?"

"You were hot."

"I liked the fire." I couldn't see Simon anymore, but I soon feel arms around me. "Are you tired?"

"A bit."

"Do you want to sleep?" He must've been pressed against me, I could feel his warm skin through my pajamas.

"Only if you do."

"Sleep with me." I scoff.

"Excuse me?"

"No, I mean, you know what I mean," Snow stammered. I make my hand free, so I can light a fire, I want to see him. He was so close to me. It's like I was seeing him for the first time all over again. "Hi." He giggles, giggles.

"Hi Snow." Snow lets go of me, grabbing my non-fiery hand and leads me to the sofa. He lies down and opens his arms for me. "We can go into my bed." Snow gasps.

"Baz is letting me in his bed, what kind of reality is this?"

"You are so annoying."

"That's not what you were saying before. Oh, Snow, your lips feel so good."

"I'm not sleeping with you anymore."

"What? You are just so adorable." I blush, I really wish I had turned out the fire in my hand, but I didn't want to stop looking at him. I blow out the fire and climb into his arms. I could feel his breath on my neck. "You promise you won't kill me while I sleep?"

"I never killed you before."

"Anathema."

"True."

"And we are still under truce."

"You are so cold." He says, pulling me closer and putting the blanket over us.

"That's not going to help."

"Let's pretend it will."

For once, we both fell asleep without worrying the other would kill them. Then I wake up and he is still holding me. I knew I was in for it.

After Simon killed the Mage and gave up all his magic to the Humdrum, he became different. Snow never liked talking. He once told me it was because he was moved around so much as kid. He was terrible at spells and terrible at general conversation most of the time, but he became even quieter, he became sadder, he became cold, not in attitude, but he was physically colder.

While I go to classes, Simon won’t leave his apartment. Not with me, not with Bunce, he refuses. It is probably because of the tail and wings no matter how many Nothing to See Here spells we cast. He hates those things. Sometimes when he is especially upset, Bunce and I try to push a little of our magic onto him, just enough for him to get rid of them, it never works. I constantly reassure him that I love him and so does Bunce and so does literally the whole World of Mages, other than my parents, but that's more because he made our old manor a dead spot, my gayness, and that he is no longer a Mage than anything else. So, Simon refuses to go out. He even has resorted to online university, just to have something to do. Yet, he hates it; Simon was never the best student. He tries to study something he likes, but he says, "It doesn't feel like me."

He talks to his therapist a lot, more than he talks to me or Bunce at this point. I might be dating a ghost, that would explain it. They always have to talk at weird times because she lives in Chicago. Simon constantly tries to get me to come on the chat and talk about my own problems or maybe about him. I refuse. I've figured out my problems… for the most part.

The only thing that Simon is sure of at this point is that he is gay. That's one thing he's figured out through all of this and it gives him one thing to be proud of. It makes me happy, seeing him light up when I bought him a rainbow flag to hang in his room. When I first got it for him, he wore it around the flat as a cape. It's the closest thing about how he used to be the Chosen One, I've seen in a while. I also got him a rainbow jumper which he wears a little too much for it to be considered normal, but when have any of us really been normal.

Speaking of his loss of magic, when I was packing up what used to be our room after I graduated, I found his wand and some of his things. I brought them to the apartment, but he refused to even look at the wand or the Watford pajamas. He wouldn't even eat his favorite scones that the kitchen served. I stuck the remnants of his past life in one of the drawers of his dresser in his room. Bunce told me she often sees him open the drawer with the pajamas and the wand. He'll just look at it and start crying. As far as I know, he hasn't tried to summon the sword. I don't think it would work.

I visit him a lot and not just because I'm his boyfriend. I have a dorm at the university, but I basically spend every minute of daylight at Snow's flat. I can see him become at least a little happier when I come in. I knock on the door to the apartment even though I have my own key. Simon most of the time answers when Bunce isn't there unless he really isn't feeling well. Like today, I knock on the door. I can hear the telly playing, blame the vampire hearing, but I can't decipher the show.

"Use your fucking key." Simon shouts. I dig the key out from my bag, I'd come from school. I insert the key into the lock and open the door. Simon is lying on the sofa, watching Doctor Who, I'm pretty sure he is watching the same episode yesterday, it is a Christmas one, it's March. "Hey Baz."

"That's all I get, a 'use your fucking key' and 'hey Baz'?" He is wearing the same joggers and rainbow jumper as yesterday. I think I left him on the couch last night, I don't think he's moved.

"The Doctor is about to regenerate." I go over and stand in front of the telly, just to spite him. He whines. "Move it or lose it, Tyrannus."

"Oo, breaking out the full first name, are we?"

"Shut the fuck up and move."

"Someone's pissy." I say, dropping my stuff on the floor and sitting next to him, kissing his cheek. Simon looked tired, I could see bags underneath his eyes. He needs to get outside, I’ll drag him if I have to or maybe he just needs sleep… or both. He needs a shower too. He is intently watching the television as a burst of golden light escaped the Doctor, it reminded me of when Simon used to go off. I think the only reason why he watches old Christmas specials is because it reminds him of a better time. "Is Bunce here?"

"Nope."

"Let's go out on a date!" Simon looks at me like I'm crazy.

"How about no?"

"C'mon, we haven't gone out in forever."

"Baz…"

"You need to go outside."

"People will see."

"I'll spell your wings, tuck your tail into your trousers." Simon rolls his eyes. "I know you hate it, but you haven't been outside in days. I'm worried about your sanity." He finally tears his eyes away from the show to look at me. His blue eyes are looking me up and down.

"I hate you."

"You love me."

"Are you sure about that?"

"One date. We can go wherever you want."

"Do you know any good bakeries?"

"Yeah, if we go now, we might be able to get there before it closes." Simon nods, turning off the telly. "But first, you need a shower." He sighs, throwing his head back. "It will make you feel better."

"Will it?"

"Yes."

"Come in it with me."

"Simon…" Snow and I haven't done anything past making out. I don't know why because I would love to touch him like that. I've never initiated anything, neither has he. I don't know if he wants that. And so, we have never showered together; not to have shower sex, not to 'save water.' He doesn't even like getting undressed in front of me, we've been dating for four months now.

"Baz…"

"We've never done it before. I don't even have any clothes with me other than these." I was wearing a button up and some jeans.

"How about I go put on some clothes and we go? We'll shower later."

"You'll shower now."

"Baz, c'mon don't fight with me. You are already forcing me to shove my tail down my pants. Use a spell if you want me clean." I give up. Simon goes to his room and comes back out wearing a white shirt and jeans with a jacket on top to hide the wing holes we had to cut in all his shirts. It's the most put together I've seen him in a while. I cast a quick Nothing to See Here which makes Simon cringe, I hate using magic near him or on him.

"Got everything you need?" He nods. I grab his hand and smile. "It'll be nice, yeah? It's still bright outside and it's not that cold." I have to basically drag Simon out of the apartment. We are almost out of the building when he starts freaking out on me. "Snow, you alright?"

"I can't, Baz, I can't."

"Why are you so nervous?" I ask, but I know why. "You can't hurt anyone. You are not going to hurt me. No one can see your wings. Alright?"

"What if the spell wears off?"

"It won't, I'll cast it again before it does." I squeeze his hand. "There is a park down the street. We can just sit there for a bit."

"Why are you so for going outside? Sunlight burns you."

"I'm worried. I'm allowed. Are you okay now?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to go to the bakery."

"Ok, let's go then."

This bakery is right next to my favorite bookstore. I know Simon will love the bakery, it has sour cherry scones that are almost as good as the ones at Watford and they have unlimited butter. We have to take the tube over there, I could've driven, but getting a parking spot is too much work. I make sure to hold Simon's hand tightly as he didn't seem very happy.

We arrive at the bakery after five minutes of walking after getting off the tube. Simon automatically perks up at the sight of the scones, I could even see a hint of a smile. He really wanted a sour cherry scone, but I know he wouldn't order it himself, so I order one for myself and he order a plain scone with way too much butter. Simon fucking Snow ordered a plain scone. How wrong is that? We get our scones and some tea before sit down at one of the tables.

Simon takes the first bite of his scone and he moans. I don't think he's brought himself to eat a scone since his days at Watford which is an honest atrocity. He keeps eyeing my scone, especially after finishing his. I'm eating slowly, I still don’t necessarily eating in front of people.

"Do you want a bite, Snow?" Simon blushes before sheepishly nodding. I break a piece off for him, he dunks it in butter, and takes a bite. He moans even louder, I kick him from under the table, which makes him giggle. He tries to reach for more of my scone, I hit his hand. "Get your own scone!" I hand over a fiver.

"Thanks, love you." He says, getting up and goes to the counter. He comes back soon with a scone on a plate and even more butter. "It's almost as good as the ones at Watford." He barely mentions that place to me, only to his therapist on the rare occasion, I think he likes to not think about it, like everything else.

"I know right." Simon smiles at me, it's been a while since I've seen that smile. It makes me happy just looking at him.

"Can you cast the spell again? It just scares me that it will wear off."

"Nothing to See Here. Happy?" He nods, finishing off his second scone whilst I finish my first. "Can we stop next store, it's my favorite bookshop."

"Yeah."

"Ready to go?"

"Yeah."

Snow and I walk next store to the bookshop. It had a mix of magic and regular books. It had a certain spell on it so that Normals can't see the magic books. I love it in there. Snow follows me like a lost puppy. I decide to get a book of Shakespearean Spells that I want to come back. 

"Why are we going to the register, you don't have anything." Snow says. It then comes to me that this book is magic and he can’t see it.

"I don't know, I just like looking around." I lie, putting the book down. I didn't want to ruin his day.

We take the two stops back to the flat. He seemed less anxious now, but I still hold his hand. Bunce was back when we entered. "I'm furious at you." She shouts directly at Simon. 

"Why?"

"You weren't here so I got worried and you didn't bring your phone… Baz, how did you manage to get him to leave." I shrug.

"I guess he likes me."

"Sorry, Penelope. I'll bring it next time." Bunce nods, going back to her work. Simon turns to me.  "Are you staying the night? It's Penelope's night to cook which means it will actually be edible."

"I'll at least stay for dinner." Simon smiles, a big one. I loved him so much. Simon drags me to his room, letting go of my hand, and sits on his bed. I sit next to him, putting my bag on the floor. 

"Thanks for getting me out."

"I'm your boyfriend, it's my job to get you out of depressive funks."

"Of the apartment, you dumb shit."

"That too." Simon pulls me into a hug; even if they aren't as warm as before, Snow still  gives stellar hugs.

"Have you eaten today?"

"Don't worry about it."

"That means no."

"I'll find something on the way back to my dorm. I'm not very hungry right now." Simon looks me in the eyes.

"You need to eat." I sigh.

"You need a shower."

"Stop changing the subject."

"Why don't you want to shower?"

"I don't like seeing the wings in the mirror."

"Still?" Snow shakes his head.

"It's stupid."

"No, it isn't. Do you want me to be there for moral support?"

"You don't have to. I rather you get something to eat so I don't feel like you'll devour me."

"I'm not going to kill you, Snow!"

"It would better than a life with these fucking wings."

"Don't say that."

"You don't know what it's like, to lose everything and then gain… Fuck you do know what I'm on about." I rub his back; his arms are still around me.

"C'mon, Miracle Boy." Simon kisses me, trying to distract me again, though I wouldn't argue with kissing him. "Simon… What have you done when you needed a shower and I wasn't here?"

"Closed my eyes."

"That's not safe."

Simon gets up, I'm worried about him. He was doing well today. He strips off the jacket and his shoes. He starts taking off his clothes, keeping on his pants. I didn't know whether to look away or not, but I wanted to see his golden skin. His red wings and tail are on full display as well as his million moles and freckles. I stand up, walking over to him, putting my hand on his right wing. He tries to flinch away.

"No," I say. "These are beautiful." Simon looks down, obviously not believing it. "Simon, look at me." He looks at me. "They are beautiful. I know you don't think so, but you saved the World of Mages and these are a medallion of your heroicness." I grab his tail. "Beautiful, alright? You are so handsome and sexy, with or without these. And I love you anyway. I loved you since fifth year and there is no way I can go back now." I kiss each of his wings and his tail. Then, I kiss his lips, just to ring in the point. Tears were running down his face, his chest heaving up and down.

"Aleister Crowley, I love you Baz." I kiss his wings again, as if I was kissing his scars. He was full on crying and then I start crying. I was scared Bunce would hear and come in and see _this_ , but at the same time I could care less because if this is what made Simon feel better, then fuck it, I would kiss him and tell him he was sexy all day because he is, even when he looks like shit.

 

**Simon**

 

Baz is fucking beautiful; inside and out. I don't think he even knows because he is a mess and I'm a mess, especially now when we are both crying. I don't mind Baz seeing me almost naked because he isn't staring at me like I'm an object or hopelessly checking me out. He is just kissing my wings and my tail and my mouth, trying to make me feel better about everything. It is helping, just knowing he doesn't care whether they are there or not. His hair is covering his face, I desperately want to ask Penelope for a hair tie because first, I think he would look sexy with his hair pulled back, and second because I really want to see his face. He is crying as almost as much as me, I think Baz has a hard time showing his emotions a lot of the time, I don't think I've ever since him cry this much since the night I lost everything.

I literally lost everything; my magic, my mage, my dignity, my safety. Losing all my magic was like a slap in the face, you never know something good till you lost it all. It felt like going from a nice warm house into a snowy day without any clothes on. All the heat that I once felt was gone. I expected for the bane of my existence to disappear with my magic, but here we are, and here they still are.

I planned a funeral for the Mage and for Ebb, no one really came. Later that day, I found out the Mage was my father, someone found some records in his office, old letters to Lucy, my mother. It referred to me as the _Rosebud Boy, the Chosen One._ I haven't told anyone except my therapist, I don't want to ever have to think about how I killed my father. _My father._ I spent all my childhood alone, to only meet my dad and not realize it because I was so fucking thick. Baz and Penelope tell me I’m thick, I wish I wasn’t so.

Dignity and safety get wrapped into one. I used to not fear much, especially with a wand and a sword, but that was all taken away from me. Baz and Penelope try not to use magic in front of me, but sometimes they mindlessly do it, I feel powerless and unsafe.

The wings and the tail have really done a number on me. I'm constantly scared to go outside now I have them. I try and go out once a week, if I'm feeling up to it, lately I haven't. I hate looking at myself in the mirror. I feel really ugly with them. But now, Baz is kissing them and when did he move to kissing my chest. Tears are still streaming down my face and Baz was getting extremely low on my chest, he’s kneeling now. We haven't done anything even though I've been wanting to initiate something with him for weeks. I am not very good with words and I think Baz thinks I'm not in the mental state. I even bought some stuff, just in case.

He looks up at me, his grey-blue eyes staring at me. They are a little red, but at least the tears have stopped rushing down his face. He gets up, wiping the tears from my eyes, putting his arms around my neck, putting his mouth to my temple, like his mother told me to do to him. He was trying to calm me down. How did I get so lucky?

"Sorry."

"Shh." He says, kissing the moles under my left ear, then the three on my cheek. He likes my moles, he’s told me before. He doesn’t have any because just like everything with Baz, his skin is flawless and perfect.

"Baz," He was ignoring me. "Baz," I put my arms around him. "Baz,"

"Hmm."

"I want to do something with you, if you want to do something with me."

" _Something?"_

"Anything."

"Bunce is outside."

"If you heard what she does on Skype with Micah, you wouldn't be worried or sorry. If you are so worried, cast a sound-proofing spell."

"You're upset."

"Not anymore."

"Ok."

"Ok?"

"Alright!" Baz lets go of me, so I let go of him. He looks excited.

"You'll have to stay the night."

"I don't have class tomorrow anyway."

I kiss his lips. I don't really know what to do, especially with a boy. I never did anything with Agatha past her giving me a handjob and I touched her boob through her shirt. I take my lips off Baz's to start unbuttoning his shirt. He shrugs it off to the floor. I move from kissing his lips to kissing his neck. It's quite ironic cause he is a vampire and all. I bite down, Baz lets out a little gasp.

 

**Baz**

 

We are lying on his bed. I'm naked, he's naked. He is over me, kissing me like there is no tomorrow. It reminds me of the night in my room. If I focus, I can still feel the warmth of Simon Snow's magic that radiated off him and I can hear the crackling of my old fireplace. I can't believe I'm about to shag Simon Snow, _the Simon Snow,_ the Chosen One, the Mage's Heir, the Humdrum, my fucking roommate of seven years. If we had gotten together while still at Watford would we have had sex in our room in Mummers House with that window cracked wide open? Now I have Simon about to go inside me and _fuck_ he is inside me. Every time he pushes into me, I try and think about transferring some of my magic to him, as if this is some fucked up fairy tale where having sex with your true love with fix all your problems. I try thinking of going off, like Simon used to do, I of course don't have that much magic, but I still think of radiation. I want him to feel happy again and I want him to never have to see those fucking wings again. Every time I moan, I try and say a spell, _any powerful spell,_ under my breath. I do everything I can think about. I think all about him.

It’s stupid, but I swear I feel magic flying around us. It feels as if the room heated up twenty thousand degrees. I swear Simon felt like his old self. It is so hot in the room, it only makes the sex better. I am a mess. I can’t stop moaning. I’m probably making such a fool of myself, but I am having sex with Simon _fucking_ Snow. He is a better sex god than he ever was Chosen One, that’s for sure.

I feel myself getting close. I start saying nursery rhymes, the most powerful one I know as I climax. Hoping, praying, that something works so he won't have to be so scared anymore. In this world full of magic, all I wanted was just enough of mine to help him. Of course, this wouldn't work. We are both a mess. He is hot, so hot, in so many ways. I’m hot too. I guess we match. **Because we match,** I whisper.

 

**Simon**

I’m having sex with Baz. I’m having sex with a vampire. I’m having sex with the guy who I thought was going to kill me all my life. I’m having sex with a guy. It feels so weird, but it’s so good. Baz is a mess, I think I’m blowing his mind. This is good. I could do this forever.

Baz moans so loudly as he comes. Loud and proud. Penelope definitely hears this, but I can’t bring myself to care. It gets all over my chest. Another thing I can’t bring myself to care about.

 

**Baz**

"Fuck, that was so good, Baz." Simon is out of breath.  "That was so much fun." I know something is different. Simon feels warmer, maybe that is just from sweat or adrenaline, but it is different kind of warm, it is a magic kind of warm. I hope for those wings and tail to go away. I think about it and think about it and think about it. Mumbling **Because we match** so quietly Snow wouldn't even notice. I open my eyes, hoping to see that dreaded wings and tail to be gone. I am so tired and properly hungry that I might have hallucinated the wings being gone. "Baz, what did you do? Where are my wings?"

"I just tried out some spells is all."

"They're gone… They're gone! Basilton Grimm-Pitch, you are fucking amazing." He kisses me with such fervor that our teeth clank together. He gets up and runs out of the room, stark naked and jizz on his chest, just to show Bunce that his wings and tail were gone. He is such an idiot. Then he comes back to me, like an excited puppy dog (to be fair that's Simon everyday) and brings me into a huge hug. "Thank you, Baz. Thank you. I love you so much. I don't know what you did but thank you. You are the best boyfriend ever." Simon was still warm with magic. I wonder if he realized it.

"I love you too, but let's go wash this off, so we can sleep, yeah?" Simon nods, leading me to the bathroom. He turns on the shower, letting it warm up. He looks in the mirror and smiles. Showering with Simon is an interesting experience because we do things in completely different orders. Yet, it feels so good when he rubbed shampoo in my hair. I almost moaned again, what is going on with me today? I do the same to Simon, he looks so happy and sleepy. He has this stupid dopey looking grin on his face, it is honestly adorable.

We get out of the shower. I grab Simon’s hairbrush after he uses it and brush through my hair. I find a hair tie on the counter and put the wet hair up, I don’t often wear it like this, I like it down. Simon is just staring at me with that dopey expression.

“Nerd.” I mumble. Snow gives me a pair of joggers to wear and his rainbow jumper. Simon cracks open his window even though it is barely hot in here. We climb into bed, I put my arms around Simon, holding him close. He is still warm with magic. It makes me sleepy. I’m fighting between going to sleep and going hunting. If I didn’t eat now, I would be sick in the morning. His breathing evens out, I grab my bag, shoes, jacket, and I sneak away.

It was only seven o’clock, but it felt much later. “Where you off to?” Bunce asks.

“I need something to eat.” She nods.

“Did you guys have fun in there?”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“Good. If you hurt my Simon, I will personally kill you.” She’s given me this warning a couple of times before.

“I would never hurt him.”

“How’d you do it?”

“A mix of spells.”

“I’ve tried a mix of spells before. _How’d you do it?”_

“ **Because we match.** ”

“I’ve never heard of that before.”

“I said it to Simon before the Humdrum made my house a bloody dead spot.”

“I once read in a book that special phrases mentioned to lovers are unearthly powerful. **I love you, I do,** ** _inside jokes._** ” I leave without saying anything else.

I’m back within an hour. Bunce has retreated to the sofa, watching some documentary on the television. I don’t say hello. I go back to Simon’s room. He looks comfortable. I take off my shoes and jacket quietly, setting my bag down with them, before climbing back to bed.

“Why’d you leave?” Simon says in a voice that doesn’t hint of sleepiness. He must’ve not been asleep.

“Needed to eat.” Simon hums, I put my arms around him, pushing him toward me.

“Basilton…”

“Yeah,”

“Can you get some food from the kitchen for me?” I laugh.

“Mm, I’m comfortable though.”

“Please.” I sigh. When did I become so soft around Snow? When did I become so obsessed with making him happy? I kiss his cheek, the one with all the cute, little freckles, and untangle myself from him.

I find the leftovers from dinner on the kitchen counter. I fill up a plate for both of us, just so I have some actual food inside me. I bring it to him, he was already sat up, looking something up on his laptop. I sit down, handing him a plate of food. He starts playing a “Vines that Cured my Depression” videos, something that once we started to like each other realized we had in common; watching vine compilations when you are too tired to watch anything else. We are giggling, and Snow is quoting them in between bites of food. He eats all the food on his plate and some off mine. I let him, I am pretty full from my hunting session anyway.

When we are both done, I bring the plates to the sink to wash them and put them in the dishwasher. I go back to his room. There are still Vines playing and Snow is tiredly guffawing. I slip back under the blankets.

“Can we go to bed now?” I ask Simon. He nods. He closes his laptop and I cast **Make a Wish!** Because I’m way too lazy to get up for the third time to turn off the lights. Simon returns to his position of cuddling in my arms. How’d I get to be so lucky?

“Love you, Bazzy.”

“Never ever call me that.”

“Aren’t you going to say it back.”

“Love you, Simon.” I’m so bloody whipped.

I dream about magic that night. I don’t often dream, I think it is a side effect from being a vampire, but I dream about going off or rather Simon going off or maybe the two of us going off together. I dream about the magic swirling around us as we kiss.

 

**Simon**

_I’m back there again. I’ve dreamt about this place a numerous amount of times. I’ve been there in real life as well. Watford. I always end up at the gates and I’m always stuck there. I know how this dream ends. I wake up heaving and sweating after dreaming of going off, trying to get in. It’s different today, the gates open. I walk to Mummers House, it’s the first place I think of. Baz is there, lying ideally on my bed, naked. He doesn’t look like himself, isn’t as pale, and he looks less evil._

_“Hey babe.” He says, as if Baz would ever call me babe. He stands up, snapping his fingers, making my clothes disappear. The room is hot, suffocating, even without my clothes on. “We match.” He puts his lips on mine. Aleister Crowley, it feels like hell. But Baz is kissing me. I feel full of magic again, like I am going to explode. The magic is swirling around us, making it hotter and hotter and hotter in that room. I want to stop kissing just to open the window. I feel like I’m drowning in the heat. There is sweat and magic dripping off of me, going straight to Baz. Baz is sweating too, his hair pulled up into a cute bun. Then, he starts touching me, and it gets even hotter. He puts his mouth on me, all over me. It burns. It makes me scared because I know he is flammable. I’m scared he’ll burn. I’m starting to go off and I can’t move away from him. He is so enticing. I can’t open the window, I can’t cool down. Now, I’m the one being loud even though the heat makes me want to die. I gain enough willpower to walk over to the window to open it. The cool air is intoxicating on my skin. It’s like I can breathe again. I still feel like I’m about to go off. Baz comes over to me, kisses me again, the magic and heat starts to swirl around us again, we both go off._

Baz and I wake up at the same time. I’m sweaty. He is a mess too and his skin is burning. I can’t get the warmth to leave my skin. It’s itchy. It burns. I get up, not even acknowledging my boyfriend, and I stand by my window. I need to cool down. A faint trace of a rising sun is coming over the busy city. I could hear Baz’s heavy breathing. Silent tears are still streaming down my face. I’m still unreasonably hot. Is this how I used to feel?

“B-Baz?” He looks over to me.

“Simon?” I look at him. His breathing has started to regulate. We somehow both knew we had the same dream without having to confirm it.

“I’m so hot and I can’t cool down. It was so hot. So bloody hot.” I say. “I went off. We both went off.” I often go off in my dreams, but never with Baz, never with anyone. Just me, always trying and failing to get passed those gates. _Magic separates us from the world; let nothing separate us from each other,_ taunts me now.

“Because we match.”

“What?”

“Remember when I said that to you?”

“Yeah.”

“I used it as a spell for your wings to disappear.” He says, coming over to me. He had cooled down to normal Baz temperature now. He feels like an ice lolly compared to me. “I think we might be linked now.”

“Linked?”

“Yeah.” I let out a small scoff. “Like the Anathema, but like not.” I’ve never heard Baz so unsure about something. “I don’t know.” He looks down, I look out the window. I wonder what time it is. I take off my shirt, then use it to wipe the sweat off my face. My curly hair is sticking to my forehead, Baz pushes them back, feeling my forehead, before retracting his hand. I go back to my bed, hoping I could try and sleep this whole thing off. Baz doesn’t look to convinced to let me get back under my blankets and sleep. Everything was going so well, leave it up to me to screw everything up.

Baz turns on the light, coming over to me, looking at me. “Simon, you are glowing.”

“Glowing?”

“I think you are sweating magic.”

“What?” It comes out like _wot_ and I know if it was any other time, Baz would tease the crap out of me for it.

“Maybe your body can’t handle it.”

“I’m just going to sleep it off.”

“Ok.” He makes sure the curls are off my face, pressing a kiss to my temple. His cold lips feel so good against my skin.

“Cuddle me, make me cold.”

 

**Baz**

He is so warm, so hot. It burns me, but I try to cool him down as he lies back in my arms. I don’t know what is happening. I hate not knowing. I didn’t graduate top of class for nothing. I hope when he wakes up, everything will work itself out. I feel like it does most of the time.

I wake up before Simon, he’s cooled now. Still warmer than usual, but cool. As soon as Simon wakes up, he texts his therapist. He says he needs to talk to her. Thankfully, she is free, and I lie in bed next to Simon while he talks to her. I didn’t really feel like moving and Simon didn’t want me to leave either. He talks and talks and talks until she finally interjects with some comments, some knowledge of magic about true love binding spells or some shit. Simon tries to get me to at least say hello, so she can see who he is constantly referencing. On a normal day, I would refuse, but I am tired and stressed and she seems nice. Fuck, I’m turning into Simon. I sit up. I look like a proper mess, I see myself through the webcam; my hair is coming out of the ponytail and I’m wearing the rainbow jumper. She says hello and I say hello back and introduce myself. I even say my full name, I can see she is trying not to laugh, but on the other hand, Simon is trying to contain his laughter too.

“It’s very nice to meet you Baz.”

“Tyrannus.” Snow is having a field day.

“It’s nice to meet you too.”

“So, how are you today?”

“I’m not here for therapy. I just came to say hello.” I say. Snow is pulled back to reality and hits my shoulder.

“That’s not nice.” I roll my eyes. “You can’t be mean to me anymore, we’re linked.”

_Linked._

Later that day, Snow tries to use his wand. He tears up while holding it. He was never good at spell casting, but he clearly makes an **Open Sesame** on his bedroom door. It flies open. He tries to summon his sword. It comes to him. It is a miracle. A miracle of love. Ew, I hate that.

The next couple months are filled with school, work, and everything in between. After getting back some magic (we honestly aren’t sure how it works, but it does appear we are somewhat linked. After having sex, we often share dreams. Sometimes we can feel when the other is sad, and Snow definitely has some of my magic. Bunce keeps telling us to go to Dr. Wellbelove, but we don’t really mind not knowing what is going on because it is working), Snow has gotten a job, started his online university, even talking about applying to a real one as a transfer, and he has started to talk to his therapist less. Bunce and I are both ecstatic that Snow feels better. However, it’s almost Christmas which means it’s been a year. I don’t know how he is going to deal with it.

Simon and I have decided to stay in London for Christmas. I wasn’t going to go up to my parents’ house without Simon, except they hate him, so that wasn’t a great choice. The Bunces invited us to go to America with them. Penelope wanted to visit Micah and Agatha, so they all decided to go. Simon didn’t really want to go be awkward with Agatha. So, we are at the flat. We set up a Christmas tree, a nice big one. On Christmas Eve, Simon insisted on having a marathon of Doctor Who Christmas specials, I think just to distract himself. I popped some popcorn and we cuddle up and watching it for hours until we both fall asleep.

 

**Simon**

_This is different. This is all different. I’m not at the gate of Watford. I’m in the middle of the countryside, outside a small cottage. I look around for Baz, he is normally here, we share a lot of dreams now, but he is nowhere to be seen. I open the door. It’s warm in there, incredibly warm. There is a woman with shoulder length blonde hair lying on the ground. The Mage, a younger one, is cowering over her. There is a baby lying in the arms of the woman, wrapping in blankets, crying._

_“He is so beautiful.” She says._

_“Yeah, he is.”_

_“Look at his rosy cheeks. My Rosebud Boy. Hello, my sweet boy, I’m your mum.”_

_“And I’m your pop.”_

_“Look at his tiny hands, Davy.” The woman picks up the little boy’s hand. “Hello, mummy and daddy. My name is Simon and I’m ready to be the world’s greatest Mage.”_

_“That you will be, son. You are going to save the World of Mages.”_

_“Don’t scare him. He’s only a baby.”_

_“A baby with immense amount of power. Look he’s practically radiating magic.”_

_“I never want to leave him.”_

_“You don’t have to.”_

_“Davy, he’s taken so much of my energy.”_

_“You’ll regain it. I’ve been casting health spells on you two for weeks now. You will be fine.”_

_They disappear, and I look around the cottage. It is cute and quaint. I find myself loving every room I walk into. I find them again in a bedroom. It must’ve been a few months later for them. The woman looks sickly and the Mage looked so sad. The woman is holding the baby._

_“I’m dying.”_

_“No.”_

_“I love you, Davy. I hope I helped you. Tell my Rosebud Boy I love him.”_

_“No, this can’t be happening. No!_ **_I love you! You are a star. Wake up, love. Early to Bed and Early to Rise._ ** _What am I supposed to do, Lucy? I can’t raise the Greatest Mage on my own. He’s too powerful. I need you. Come back._ **_Come back_ ** _.” The Mage picks up the baby from the woman’s arms. I walk closer, not sure if he can see me. The baby already had a tuff of blonde hair and bright blue eyes. He had three little moles on his cheek, just like the woman. “What am I going to do with you, Simon Snow Salisbury?” The Mage kisses the baby. “You took all her magic. You killed her by just being you. You are going to save us all one day. My little Mage.”_

_“D-Dad?” I say, still unsure if he can hear me._

_“Simon?” The Mage says. “Simon!” The baby disappears out of his arms. “Is that my boy? Look how grown up you are. Proper man, you are?”_

_“Is that my mum?” I ask, voice shaky. The Mage looks over to the woman._

_“Was.” I run over to her bed. The Mage is in tears. The Mage, my dad. He is still staring at me. “What do I do with you?” He asks._

_“You send me away.”_

_“I don’t want to leave you. Lucy doesn’t want to leave you.”_

_“You have to.” I’m not sure this is a dream anymore. It feels more like time travel. “You’ll come and get me when I’m 11, bring me to Watford, all that. You never said anything about being my dad. I had to find out.”_

_“I don’t want to leave you. I love you.”_

_I’m outside of Watford now. I push the gates open. I go to the White Chapel, going to the secret room where I killed the Mage. Baz is there already. I go over to him._

_“Baz!”_

_“Simon!”_

_The Mage appears and so does the woman, my mum. Ghosts. Baz already has his wand out, ready to fight._

_“Simon?” The Mage says._

_“Dad?” Baz doesn’t look surprised, he has that ‘of course’ look on his face._

_“Simon Snow Salisbury?” I can hear Baz laughing. I’m never going to hear the end of it when we wake up._

_“Mum!” I run up to them. My mum holds me in her arms, tightly._

_“I never wanted to leave you. Oh my, I can’t believe I’m talking to you. My Rosebud Boy. Look at you. You are so handsome.” She has tears in her eyes. I realize then that I unintentionally killed both my parents. “Look at you. Look at him, Davy. The Greatest Mage is such a handsome one. All grown up. Look at those freckles and your eyes are beautiful. And the hair. How old are you now?”_

_“19.”_

_“Oh my.”_

_“I’m sorry for you killing you.” I say it to both of them. My mum melts._

_“Never be sorry.” She says. The Mage… Dad, whatever, is staring at me._

_“It’s alright. You reunited me with Lucy. I’m sorry I never told you.”_

_“It’s alright.” But it wasn’t. It really wasn’t._

_“No, it isn’t.” The Mage says. “You are my son and I never told you because I was too engrossed with my power hungry scheme.” I look to Baz, he is just standing there, watching it all enfold. I could tell he really wanted to go off on the Mage, he killed his mother after all._

_“Who is that?” My mother asks._

_“That’s Baz, he’s my boyfriend.”_

_“The Grimm-Pitch boy?” The Mage sneers. I nod._

_“You killed his mother, made him into a vampire, and I don’t think I can forgive you for that.”_

_“I understand, Simon.”_

_“-And you never told me you were my dad… that’s another thing.”_

_“I know. I haven’t done many good things, Simon. Not raising you being one of them. I shouldn’t have left you.”_

_“Still…”_

_“So, you’re dating a Grimm-Pitch who is a vampire?” The Mage asks. I nod again._

_“He is a handsome one, Simon.”_

_“I know.”_

_“You have his magic.” The Mage says._

_“How did you know?”_

_“You wouldn’t be able to come back here without some type of magic and you gave all of yours up.”_

_“What spell did you use?” My mother asks._

_“_ **_Because We Match”_ **

_“A spell of love. The strongest of them all.” Mum says, looking to my Dad. She looks back to me, pushing my hair out of my face, it felt so good. I start crying. Why couldn’t I have this life? A life with a mother and a father. “Shh, Simon. You are a star.”_

_“How is this happening?”_

_“You are a powerful Mage, even with someone else’s magic.” Dad says._

_“Mum…” It felt so good to say that, to see her. “Dad…” It even felt good to see him again too. “I love you.”_

_“I love you too, Simon.” The Mage says._

_“I love you so much, Simon Snow. The prettiest Rosebud Boy and the Greatest Mage. I always will.”  They are starting to disappear. I look again to Baz._

_“Simon, I think it is time we leave.” Baz says._

_“No!”_

_“Simon,”_

_“Baz,”_

_“Hello.” My mum says. “Baz, is it? I’m Lucy, it’s nice to meet you.” Then it all goes away. I’m sobbing, loudly._

_Baz and I are in a dark hallway. I grab his hand. He lights a fire within his free one. We walk down the hallway._

_“Do you know where we are?” I ask Baz._

_“No, why would I?” I shrug. There is a door at the end. I grab my wand, “_ **_Open Sesame.”_ ** _In my dreams, I always cast spells right. Baz always rolls his eyes._

**Baz**

_Wherever Simon took us with his weird dream magic is fucking bright and then it makes itself out. It’s the nursery. My mother is there, I guess even after my speech, she still can’t rest. If Snow got his moment with his mum and dad, I get mine too. I’m overjoyed and yet scared. I know in no way she’ll accept me, and I don’t know whether to apologize or be unapologetically who I am._

_“Who’s there?” She asks._

_“Basilton.” She turns around and looks at me._

_“Hello son.”_

_“Hello mum.” Simon grips my hand tighter. I didn’t need his support and needed it all at the same time. “Still can’t rest peaceful, can you?”_

_“I’ve heard everything.” My mouth is agape. She’s heard all the apologies and the… everything else. “You were right. I would carry on even if I was a…”_

_“Vampire?” She looks me up and down._

_“You look well.”_

_“I take care of myself.”_

_“You don’t kill people, do you?”_

_“I’m not a murderer.”_

_“Baz, would never kill.” Simon says. He really had to draw attention to himself._

_“You must be Simon Snow.”_

_“Hello.” He says._

_“He’s my boyfriend.” My mother doesn’t look impressed, especially because he is wearing joggers and Doctor Who Christmas sweater which is the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life. He has red eyes and tear tracks still._

_“If I was alive, this wouldn’t be happening. But there is nothing I can do from the afterlife.” She says. “If you hurt my son…”_

_“He won’t. We’re linked.” Snow has a weird affinity for me saying that: we’re linked._

_“We did what you wanted, Mum. Found Nicodemus, avenged your killer.”_

_“And I kissed your son’s temple, like you wanted.” Simon blurts out, I turn red and so does he. “I’m sorry my dad sent vampires into Watford.”_

_“Your dad’s the mage?” Simon nods._

_“You killed his dad?” She says to me._

_“Simon actually killed his dad.”_

_“Blimey.”_

_“Mum… I love you.”_

_“I love you too, Tyrannus. Keep carrying on.”_

Then I wake up. Simon isn't next to me and the tv is playing some non-Christmas special Doctor Who episode. I can hear Snow clanking around in the kitchen, doing merlin knows what. It's bright outside, it must be Christmas. I look behind me and I watch Snow make breakfast. It feels oddly domestic, like all of this is normal for us. He walks back over with a steaming mug of tea and pancakes. "This is such a rubbish episode." He says, either not realizing I'm awake or not acknowledging me. He puts his food down, immediately changing the episode to one he deems as good, before sitting down on the couch. “There is some food on the counter.” I guess he doesn’t want to talk about what happened in our dreams. I get up, grabbing a similar amount of food as Simon, and I sit back down. He looks invested in his show. Simon is always invested in Doctor Who.

“Merry Christmas.” I say, kissing his cheek. He smiles at me as if it wasn’t the one-year anniversary of his whole life going to shit.

“Merry Christmas.” Simon goes back to his show. Maybe this is his way of coping with everything.

“That guy’s fit.” I say. I barely know any of the characters, Snow is always jumping around from season to season.

“I know right.” I hum. While I eat my breakfast, I look at Simon. How could he not be hurting? Even I’m a little shook up from seeing my mother and yet, orphan Snow is barely shaken by seeing his parents. I expected a mental breakdown.

I never really took notice of his rosy cheeks before his mother called him Rosebud Boy, but they are rosy. It gives the moles a nice backdrop to stand out upon. It makes him look like the perfect Chosen One, innocent and sweet, but heroic and strong. I want desperately to call him that, gauge his reaction to it. It’s a sweet nickname.

“I can’t believe your name is Simon Snow Salisbury. It’s almost as ridiculous as mine.” I see Simon stiffen before he lets out a chuckle.

“I always thought Oliver was my middle name.” He says quietly.

“Are you okay?”

“When are any of us ever okay?” He says, eating the last bite of pancake, and going back to his show.

“Do you remember your mum?”

“She died when I was born.” He sounds sad. “Do you miss your mum?”

“Sometimes, but she would never let me live like this.”

“Is it selfish to wish I had a family? That my mum never died, and my dad didn’t send me away.”  I wonder how often he pictured a life with his family. “Baz, you can’t tell anyone this, but all this morning I was thinking _what if Baz just bite me and drank all my blood, so I could die and finally have my happy ending._ I’m so fucked up. I just want that. I want a mum and dad. I want to go home for Christmas and wear family ugly sweaters and have traditions. I’ve always wanted that. I hate Christmas.”

“I will never kill you. I love you too much.” I say, he looks at me, his bright blue eyes filled with so much loneliness and self-doubt, I hate that I inflicted so much of that onto him. But we were both kids, hurting because the most important people to us had died or weren’t there. We were both a little broken and neither of us knew how to love. We match. “And it is not selfish to think of a family. But you have me. I doubt I’ll ever go home for Christmas unless my parents become supportive out of thin air. It’s you and me, Rosebud Boy.” I stop, waiting to see his reaction to the nickname. I can see a hint of a smile as his cheeks brighten. “We’ve conquered so much from friends to enemies. We are family now and we will make our own traditions. We’ll wear ugly sweaters and watch Doctor Who and do whatever else. And sure, you’re a little fucked up, I am too. I’m a bloody vampire wizard who’s in love with the boy that I was convinced was going to kill me. But we keep carrying on and we keep fighting and loving because we have to. You and me, together, the vampire and the worst Chosen One on the fucking planet, because we match. We’re linked.” Simon smiles.

“We’re linked.”

I put my plate down and he puts his down too, grabbing his mug which he cast  **Some Like it Hot** on minutes ago. I pull him into my arms, I feel the steam from the mug rising up onto my face. The Doctor just finished regenerating. It reminds me of going off. Simon has grown warmer as his happiness has increased. But it isn’t going off hot nor is it the Greatest Mage hot or right after sex hot. It’s just a little warmer than average. It doesn’t burn me even though I’m flammable. He takes a sip of tea, slurps it like the undignified human he is, and gets me a sloppy kiss on my cheek. I’m glad we’re linked because I don’t know what I would do without him.


End file.
